What It Is

You’ve been the only one watching. Every plugin update, every security alert, every “is this normal?” moment—all you.

That quiet hum of “what if something slips through?” lives in your head. It’s exhausting.

Fuck the Overwhelm Club is where that hum finally eases.

We watch with you. Fix revenue leaks as they appear. Guide incremental improvements to what you already have. Give you tools to keep getting better on your own.

What’s Included:

Premium Kinsta hosting/migration (zero downtime, Melbourne-timed)
Weekly tested updates (staging first, always)
24/7 uptime monitoring
Monthly performance optimization + accessibility reviews
Revenue leak identification and fixes
Security monitoring + tested backups
Same-day emergency support
Monthly project guide (one new guide every month + full archive access on signup)
Beta no-code knowledge base access
Monthly health reports

No more solo vigilance. We watch with you.

What’s Included

Professional Hosting on Kinsta

Faster. More secure. Professional-grade.
Your site moves to Kinsta hosting—no additional cost. Email migrates to Google Workspace or Zoho. Zero downtime.

Migration happens during Melbourne time (that’s overnight for US clients). You go to bed, wake up to a faster site. If my laptop explodes mid-migration, you’re covered—because you’re asleep.

Proactive Maintenance

Weekly tested updates
We test on staging first. Your live site never breaks from updates.

24/7 uptime monitoring
Site goes down? We know before you do. Often fixed before you notice.

Monthly performance optimization
Speed checks, broken link fixes, database cleanup, error logs reviewed.

Security handled
Malware scans, vulnerability monitoring, tested backups (not just hoped-for backups).

Accessibility reviews
Monthly WCAG compliance checks. Your disabled and neurodivergent clients deserve access.

The Support That Makes This Killer

Same-day emergency response
Site down during a launch? Payment processor acting weird? We’re on it.

Complex DIY guidance included
Not just “how to add a page.” We guide you through:

• Plugin integrations
• Automation setup
• Technical troubleshooting
• Form configurations
• Payment processor issues
• Whatever you’re trying to DIY

24/7 searchable “how to” database (beta access)
Stuck at 2am? Search our growing database of documented solutions. Can’t find your answer? Ask us and we’ll add it.

You keep control. We give you the knowledge and backup to use it confidently.

Monthly Health Reports

Clear updates: what we did, what we found, what we fixed. No jargon. Just clarity.

Your Monthly Project Guide

Every month, we create one new project guide teaching you how to do something yourself:

• Set up a simple automation
• Add a booking form
• Create an email sequence
• Configure a payment option
• Improve site accessibility

Full archive access on signup. Guides are yours forever, even if you cancel.

Because protecting your site isn’t enough—we want you empowered to keep improving it.

Pricing & Guarantees

First month setup:

• Kinsta hosting migration (zero downtime, Melbourne-timed)
• Email migration to Google Workspace or Zoho
• Full site audit and optimization
• All monitoring and backup setup
• Access to support database

Then $349/month.

Month-to-month. Cancel anytime with 30 days notice. No lock-in.

Our Guarantees

99.5% uptime (or that month’s free)

Same-day emergency response during business hours

Tested updates (staging first, always)

Full ownership (your site, your access, forever)

Melbourne-timed migrations (you sleep, we work)